“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” (Anais Nin)
Twice in the last week this quote has been presented to me in quite different forms.
You may recall that in February I was reflecting on what I might be avoiding. My commitment at that time was to personal confidence and active expression of my spiritual energy with the affirmation of ‘backing myself’.
Three months on and my resolve to personal confidence has been tested. My back continues to be my guide and indicator - recently throwing in for good measure an old pain pattern that had me badly locked up and walking like a scuttling crab. I ended up at the osteopath on my way down to a 5 Rhythms Heartbeat workshop. As the knots untied and the tension loosened off, we both agreed that I would be able to dance my way through the rest of the release.
Dance and draw my way through, I did indeed. Heartbeat allows for dance and reflection at the level of the heart – the emotional self. As I dance I find that I can breathe, unfold myself and open myself, easing the tension and creating space at all levels.
It was fascinating to see the Friday night drawing “Grace & Pain” with its thin lines and gnarly pain bits transform over the weekend into “Grace Moving” with its sense of gentle balance and “Deeply Rooted Lift Off” with its very strong sturdy roots holding open a space for light, love and spirit to flow and blossom with joy.
The link for me with the Anais Nin quote is that I do experience real pain when I hold myself in tight. I am of an age where being a tight ‘bud’ is no longer appropriate. The journey required is from ‘what I might be avoiding’ to realising that I am called to put my creative spiritual nature firmly in the forefront of my life: to have the creative and performing arts, especially dance, centre stage.
‘Backing myself’ means that I am at business development courses learning how to bring my creative vision into reality. ‘Backing myself’I applied, and have been accepted, for a seven day 5 Rhythms Intensive in America in August – a much looked forward to opportunity to meet Gabrielle Roth and deepen and expand my own practice.
With love and thanks for your reading. Arohanui Kerry-Ann
Kerry-Ann Stanton works as a celebrant, and is in transition toward establishing and leading “Inspirita” – a place to move and be moved.